Predictions for the 2012 Singapore Grand Prix

Since this international cartel of mudbutts from the US, Germany and Russia have made a dastardly attempt at a coup on our beloved BackmarkersF1 I have come back with furious as I returned to my Nigerian lair. I would have expected an underhand coup from the Russians, that goes without saying it is just in their nature. Hell, as a Belgian I still watch the Germans with a leery eye as well, but to have the Americans betray me like that – our partners from the first hour on the podcast-  was a tough hit to take. Therefore with a vengeful counter-coup I take the reins again with this predictions post for the Singapore GP.

We’ve seen the Mclaren’s finally come good on their pre- and early season form to take three successive wins, however always with a disappointing no-score for the other car which does not massively help them in the WDC. Nonetheless after having taken about 8 races to get on top of their monumentally bad pitstops, Mclaren do seem to have found something special cranking out record pitstops at great consistency, with little to no major fuckups. With Hungary, Spa and Monza the car has been strong on three different types of circuit and there is no obvious reason to believe they will not be strong here. In Hungary Lewis was supreme, at Spa Jenson was untouchable and similarly in Monza Hamilton cruised to an early victory, the team only being robbed of a 1-2 by a mechanical failure.

Ferrari was strong – as they always are – in Monza and Nando drove another great race to stay firmly in the driver’s seat of this WDC. He’s also somewhat of a beast around Singapore (that is, when his teammate isn’t ordered to crash his guy by a middle aged fat bloke who wears mankinis) and could very well seal the title right here if the cards fall into place. Especially if the race is wet, with the Ferrari seemingly the best in the field in those conditions (well, Alonso is, Felipe may go into another ballerina spinfest). Qualifying will be tight but Hamilton in beast mode with the best car on the grid will not be stopped, while Vettel will also have a point to prove in a fun shootout in q3 seeing him fall just short and saving us from the finger.

Nonetheless I’m going to be predicting what we all have predicted at one point or another this season: Raikkonnen will win it in a titanic scrap with Hamilton which sees the Briton off into the barriers and another WDC campaign shattered. Alonso will always be there to pick up the pieces, but judging from their pace in FP1 and 2, the Bulls should not be discounted either. Nonetheless I don’t think they will fully see it through to the race.

Indeed, the Kimster is going to do it, nab his comeback win and with it launch his last ditch assault on the title (which Alonso in the end will never let slip).  Hamilton will crash trying an outrageous move on the Fin, sulk, and sign that Mercedes contract just to have a change of scenery. I wonder if he has talked to Button about this, he should have some interesting experiences to share from his Benneton-Williams-BAR days and contract negotiations…

Speaking of the Mercs, they  will come up short despite their much vaunted developments, while Schumi will shock the grid by wearing glasses because he can’t see well anymore in the dark.

Further in the back, with his last gazprom dough evaporating, Petrov will try to claim the spotlight in a desperate bid to hang on to a seat (but srsly, who’d want a Petrov but then without the money)  and make an idiot of himself by ramming off his teammate fighting for 10^th, because the race will be so full of attrition that Caterham will be getting that point at last. Glock will also throw another hissyfit at Pic and reports will emerge that Pci’s funny walk on Sunday evening in the paddock were due to Timo’s boot being firmly lodged up the youngsters’ ass. Max Chilton will be watching it awestruck (and with clenched buttcheeks)

Back to the midfield the Force Indias are looking good and the showdown between Di Resta and the Hulk can continue, while I do not see the Sauber’s doing as well this time around. Williams has two crap drivers and I’m done even considering them (unless it’s for cucumber of the week). Lastly,  Grosjean will be responsible for much of the attrition giving Kovi a point by doing something stupid again despite the claims of having matured thanks to the ban. Jerome, get ready!

To sum up my predictions:

Quali:

1. Hamilton
2. Vettel
3. Raikkonen

 

Race:

1. Raikkonen
2. Vettel
3. Alonso

 

Cucumber: Petrov (almost tied with Grosjean)